I started this blog to talk about God. I love the Lord, my love for him is selfish at best, because I am a human and God's love is the only unselfish love. I came to Him needy and broken and He is healing me. In the words of Joyce Meyer "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be, I'm OK and I'm on my way." Good words. God doesn't demand our perfection, Jesus is our perfection; before the Father, If you have believed in Him for salvation. The Bible says "my people perish for lack of knowledge". I lacked knowledge about what God did through Christ and believed I could never stop this destructive behavior, but the day I said "you take it Lord; because I can't" was a turning point. I started this blog to help someone else...
I am just 1 in 8 billion. The world is loud and big yet quiet and small. I am just 1 in 8 billion. We go through things in this life, some good and some bad. I have experienced a lot of good and some bad stuff that effected me and shaped who I am today. My dream is to be the person God created me to be, to simply be able to be myself. Jeremiah 29:11 say I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope (amp). We live in a culture that looks, with the physical eye, upon trauma, drama and negativity; gravitates toward the bad, and the flaws. In that verse is HOPE, and the idea that God is good, but you would not know that by looking around you in the physical world. I have come to know in my heart that God is good because I look in His word and spend time in prayer. Being ourselves is not easy, but when we look at God more and more and believe, in what the Word says, it becomes easier to be who He made us to be, because we're not looking to people to approve of us anymore but rather God who created us. There's something so satisfying about the quest for God. I've tried to be satisfied trough a lot of avenues, but there's joy in seeking God and learning who He is that can be found no where else. Until about 2 years ago I put everything but God first. I put substances and entertainment and cursing and anger and just flat out bad destructive behavior first. Basically trying to fill the void in me, that God is meant to fill. One day I just got so sick of living that way, I surrendered, and said "Lord, please take this from me because I just can't". I was all kinds of addicted, but cigarettes was a real bondage for me that I wanted to be free from but could not stop. He took it when I asked him and I haven't smoked since. I have still had to fight addiction, but I began walking with the Lord that day and I am not the same person I was. He has changed me and is still changing me and will continue until the day of redemption. Philippians 1:6 The longer I walk with the Lord the less I have to fight things like addiction or anger, because when I am weak he is strong....
2 Corinthians 12:9.
In Proverbs 4:20-22 God says, to put His Words first, because they are LIFE to those who find them, and HEALTH to all their flesh. Wow, what wonderful words! I have battled a lot of wrong ideas and lies about God and myself because, well, I experienced things, and made bad choices that hurt and because I listened to people or, read the wrong books; listened to horrible music and watched horrible things on TV that shaped my view and I was just covered in things, such as loneliness, shame, worthlessness, and fear and I thought; that's just the way it is. In the past two years I have cut out so much of the stuff that worldly junk and listened instead to bible teachings and praise music. Don't get me wrong I'm not a nun, closed off from the world, but a lot more God and praise music has lifted my soul to a place of peace and strength that I didn't have before. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was about 14. Then I just kept going the way I was, and feeding my self on sex, substances, bad entertainment and self. There was a lack of leadership and teaching in my life. I was saved and going to heaven, but very broken and just doing what I saw everyone doing and working my way through life. If I'm being honest, the things I did were fun and they brought temporary pleasure for a season to my heart and my body, but inside; in my spirit I was disgusted. I was so double minded, and miserable doing those things that made me feel good and covered the pain from the past and made me forget about the shame and guilt and fear...but longing to be free and wanting to worship God...and sad because I always thought He was angry at me and I continued in addiction; too weak and confused to do anything....
I started this blog to talk about God. I love the Lord, my love for him is selfish because I am a human and GOD's love is the only unselfish love. I came to Him needy and broken and He is healing me. In the words of Joyce Meyer "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God, I'm not where I used to be, I'm OK and I'm on my way." Good words. God doesn't demand our perfection, Jesus is our perfection; before the Father, If you have believed in Him for salvation. The Bible says "my people perish for lack of knowledge". I lacked knowledge about what God did through Christ and believed I could never stop this destructive behavior, but the day I said "you take it Lord; because I can't" was a turning point. I started this blog to help someone else...
I hope this blessed someone.
Yours in Christ
Lisa
